Friday, April 10, 2009

It Takes a Medical Village

The Health Commission®
One Monopoly Parkway
Stoner Brook, IL 67067

April 1, 2009

Dear Hospital Administrator,

Today a new standard for obstetric services was released by The Health Commission®.

The THC® has led American hospitals to adopt Beyond Perfect Care™ as the standard the last several years. Now we have moved on to the next step, the Medical Village concept. Today’s new rules continue that triumph requiring a multi-disciplinary team approach to human reproduction to increase quality offspring and decrease costs.

Team members will include one of each of these specialties:

Specialty Responsibility to the team and expectant mother/donor

Sociologist compatibility for coupling
Psychologist mental health/readiness
Geneticist check for defective genes
Coitupractor prevent defective technique
Fertility specialist successful implantation
Medicaider arrange medical card
Tutor help with school
Gestationist monitor antepartum course
Cert Micturation Asst collect urine samples
Phlebotomist collect blood samples
Malpractitioner collect legal fees
Ultrasonographer assess fetus/determine sex
Nomenclaturist advise on names
Fashionista advise on clothes
Induciologist induce labor
Anesthetist stop labor
Partitionist restart labor & assist
Caesaropath deliver baby
Med Student feel useless
Videographer take the movies
Neonatologist assess newborn
Postpartitionist monitor postpartum course
Social Worker sign up for stimulus money
Grandma take care of infant

All charting will be done using Electronic Maternal Records. Scoring of each birth will be done using the 10 point judging system of the American Gynastics Federation following the guidelines of our Beyond Perfect Care™ rules.

For more information go to our website

Kim McRobert, MD
Multidisiplinary Requirement Team
The Health Commission®

Parasitizing American Hospitals for over 30 Years

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